stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize