oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
