it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
