When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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