I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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