Kiss
Puke
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
