I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
