I got her a Nickelback box set.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
