Nicole vs. Life
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
