..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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