rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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