Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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