Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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