I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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