billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
