Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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