I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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