Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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