Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
