omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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