From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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