dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
