SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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