I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
