What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
