dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize