He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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