I think im going to throw up on grandma
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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