sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
