Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
