I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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