Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
