Soap is not a condiment
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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