So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
