This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
