My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
