Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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