YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
