In the future we'll all be gay
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
