What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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