Cold hands, warm shart.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
