i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
