Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
