Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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