My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
