A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
