People in love make me want to vomit
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
