i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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