Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
