im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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