so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
