I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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