Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
