hotel room ftw
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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