if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
