They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize