At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
