I got chris browned last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
