either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
