do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
