you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
FUCK WHALES
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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