chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
