I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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