I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
