I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
