Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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