My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
