just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
