I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
