The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
