Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize