If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
