Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
