I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
