FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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