Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
